How to find out who we are and what we want – (The Self-Care Project by Jayne Hardy. Chapter 5)

I was going to write this blog yesterday but for some reason I found it difficult. It’s quite a meaty chapter and makes you think about things that you don’t want to think about. Plus last night my boyfriend came home early and put the TV on; not a good place for writing in. I could have left the room but I chose not too.

I am going to start with a few points that are in this chapter;

• Up the Self-Kindness Ante
• Become Inquisitive
• Use Envy as a Signpost
• Start a Journal
• Listen to How You Feel
• Start a Scrapbook
• Play More

Each section has a couple of paragraphs underneath detailing why you should do these things and how they help with self-care. I think there are only two that I actually do on that list.

I keep a journal. This year I am currently using Fearne Cotton’s Happy Journal. It’s a really lovely journal, each month is a different colour, there is lots of quotes through out the book just when you need them, some pretty illustrations inside as well and lots of writing prompts (I don’t use them anymore, I just dump what I’ve been feeling or how my days gone in there. My only wish is, I’d like more space to write in). I think next year I will try 365 days of Self-Care because I have been reading the Self-Care Project.

I also have a scrap book, I haven’t scrapbooked for years now (so I guess I don’t do it really). It was something I enjoyed doing a lot but it’s very time consuming, expensive and I just couldn’t let myself find the time to indulge in it.

As for the other points I would like to be more inquisitive but for some reason I’m scared to ask questions I think, I don’t know why. Questions just desert me and I’m not very good at talking to people I don’t really know.

Anyway back to how I kinda started this post yesterday… Since finishing university I have felt unsure about who I am, where I want to go and what I want out of life. Not getting a job straight out of uni didn’t help things either. Low self-esteem and confidence issues aren’t great either.

Finding yourself is difficult but it’s also a part of life and you enjoy life more fully when you do.

“The School of You is a place we never graduate from; we never get to leave. We’re lifelong pupils. The teachers and the pupils, the bullies and the friends, are one and the same – us – we have the starring role. As for homework – it literally never ends. Not even. But the old adage is true: we absolutely do get out of it what we’re willing to put into it. The best bit? We get to make the rules. Mwa-ha-ha!”

When I read this a strange image came in to my brain, just versions of me at school, well the school in my head, being the bullies, the teachers and having the star role. It was so weird but funny at the same time. Life is all about learning, failing, succeeding, growing, evolving and changing. I feel like if you stop learning, are you really living?

Exercise 1 – “Find an image, or draw an image which represents how you feel right now”

At the moment I feel calm but that’s because I am at home and I’m blogging, my happy place. This image represents how I am feeling right now.

On my way home from work I wasn’t feeling like this. I am a very quiet person and I tend to keep to myself but when I’m at work, even though I feel comfortable ish, I don’t think I truly am. When I left the office, I had this caged feeling. I don’t fully understand it to be honest. I am a strange human and I don’t fit in many places.

Exercise 2 – “Lucy’s favourite things” (List your favourite things)

• Chocolate
• Cake
• Food, in general
• My Boyfriend ❤
• My Cat
• My dogs at mums
• My Family
• Nandos
• Travelling
• Animals
• Reading
• Art
• Tattoos

And I think that pretty much sums me up.

Exercise 3 – “Use the boxes below to describe yourself in 10 positive words”

1. Friendly
2. Hard-working
3. Short
4. Smiley
5. Bubbly (if you know me well)
6. Floaty
7. Family orientated

I stopped at seven because I found that really hard. Ten positive things about myself is a lot to write and makes me wonder if I really know myself properly.

To finish, a picture of something that makes me happy…

…freshly made bedding and it’s The Lion King bedding.

 

Why Self-Care is important – (The Self-Care Project by Jayne Hardy. Chapter 3)

To start with today I have included a long quote from chapter three, page 42, because I think it’s brilliant and everyone should be made to read these two paragraphs, if not the whole book…

“We’re all living and breathing proof that miracles do exist. The odds of our conception are mind-bogglingly low. That, in and of itself, is pretty darn amazing, don’t you think? Let that sink in for a moment – you’re a miracle. Yup, YOU. You might not feel like one but science states that the chances of you being here are nothing short of miraculous.

Since the very moment you became a ‘being’, every cell of you has worked hard with very little conscious input or effort from you. These humble cells have protected, renewed, restored, regenerated, cleaned, circulated, eliminated and kept you alive. They care for you every millisecond of every day, without a break, and we’re not as appreciative of this as we could be.”

…Just think about what you have just read, I mean really think about it. We are incredibly lucky to be alive. The second paragraph really talks to me the most though. Before I read this I have always been grateful for my legs because they carry me everywhere and even though they don’t look the way I want them to look, they are very strong. Without them I wouldn’t be able to see the world, go to work, see my family, do the things I love. My life would be pretty dull without them.

Then this paragraph makes you really think about how amazing the human body actually is. Your body never stops, NEVER. Your body doesn’t go on holiday from you to rest. Your body goes on holiday with you and is still working away. Regulating your temperature in a hot country, you get to be in that other country because your body is keeping you alive, breathing, pumping the blood and oxygen you need.

I could go on and on but I think you would probably get bored. Your body is amazing, don’t hate it because it doesn’t fit in. Cherish it because without who would you be?

This whole chapter is brilliant.

Exercise 1 – ‘I want to do, be, have and feel’ (Honestly I’m not really sure how to complete this exercise but I think I will complete this in sections)

I want to do…

• More travelling.
• To keep learning. A light went out of me when I finished uni, I was really passionate about lots of different things (I still am but not as strongly) and I wanted to learn as much as I could about them.
• Go to the gym more, because it’s good for my body. I need to see it as less of a chore and more of a benefit.

I want to be…

• More involved in life. I go to work, come home, go to the gym, eat, sleep and go to Manchester sometimes. Oh and see friends occasionally. I don’t do the things I love as much and that is something I need to change.
• Less of a shy person. I think being shy and timide is just ingrained in who I am but it holds me back a lot of the time. I don’t think it will ever change but I would like to be a little less shy.
• Positive. Being positive all the time is exhausting for someone like me because being negative is something that I have always done. It’s a part of my brain wiring and up bringing. But being positive makes you sit taller and it makes life more enjoyable.

I want to have…

• A more organised life. My boyfriend and I want some many things, yet money keeps getting in the way. I think if we organised ourselves more we might reach our goals.
• A live in the moment life. I always seem to focus on what I don’t have and how other people I know have what I want but they didn’t really work for what they have. My biggest achievement to date is learning to drive and then buying my own car by myself. I had no help from anyone, I put the hours in at a job that I hated and got what I wanted. Go me! And note to self: you have a lot and you’ll get where you want to be it’s just going to take a little longer.
• A house. That’s the next big thing on my list, it’s going to take at least to years to get there I think but it’s achievable.

I want to feel…

• Happy.
• Safe.
• Content.
• And enjoy life as much as possible.

Exercise 2 – ‘Make a playlist of songs which inspire, uplift and make you smile’ (This is something that is forever changing because as cheesy as it sounds, I am one of those people that lists to a lot of chart music. I like other stuff too but chart stuff, is upbeat and in the moment. It even sometimes reminds me of a specific time in my life.)

1. Single Ladies – Beyonce (Even though I’m not single anymore, I still put my hand up)
2. Love me like you do – Ellie Goulding
3. Back to you – Selena Gomez
4. Chandlier – SIA
5. God is a woman – Ariana Grande
6. Try – P!nk
7. Beautiful trauma – P!nk
8. What about us – P!nk
9. They don’t care about us – Michael Jackson
10. Born this way – Lady Gaga

P!nk is on my list three times because I used to love her music when I was a little girl and there is this memory that sticks in my head. I was at a friends sleep over and the friends cousin was there, for some reason we both brought CD’s with us. P!nk was one of mine and it was on, I was loving it, dancing away. The next minute, it was switched off to Christina Aguilera. I remember their faces, they both looked at me like I was some kind of alien because I loved P!nk. It might seem like a silly story but at the time it didn’t feel like it and since then I have been very private about the kind of music I like.

Exercise 3 – ‘Pop your favourite quote/mantra in here (Arrow to a box on the page), Then the things which calm, comfort and reassure in these: (More boxes with arrows)’

My favourite quote would be from Oscar Wilde; “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken”

There are lots of other great Oscar Wilde quotes but this one always felt like it was made for me.

Calm, Comfort and Reassure. Not sure how to complete this section, I think I’ll do one for each.

• Calm – reading because it takes me away from life and it’s totally a self-care activity.
• Comfort – being warm and cozy at home.
• Reassure – my mum, sister and boyfriend ❤

Lastly to finish this post I was looking through facebook this morning and found this on a friends timeline…

I’m not really bothered about the gym part but there is a lot of time in the week and ample amounts of time to take a moment out to give yourself the self-care that you need, even if it’s just five/ten minutes of deep breathing just to recenter yourself.

Make time for you. YOU matter.

I hope you enjoyed reading my post and maybe found it helpful.

The Self-Care Project by Jayne Hardy

A couple of weeks ago my sister handed me a copy of this book, The Self-Care Project, saying she couldn’t get in to it so I might as well have it. I have struggled with depression, anxiety, confidence issues and low self esteem for a long time. I think I am starting to see the light now but it’s still helpful and uplifting to read books like this one, on your journey to being a healthier you in your mind.

There are some exercises within this book but I hate to write in books, it goes against my book wormy ness and I feel like I am defacing it. So while reading this book I plan to blog about the different exercises.

The first Chapter is called ‘Nine ways I’ve sucked at self-care’. I think we’re all guilty of not looking after our selfs properly and the world we live in just never stops.

Exercise 1 – Times I’ve sucked at self-care & what it taught me.

• About a week ago, I was feeling very stressed and emotionally drained at work, I really needed a reset. Working within the creative industry isn’t all fun and games. So what did I do on the Friday after I’d finished for the weekend? I drank a whole bottle fo Prosecco within about two hours. I don’t drink very often so, it went straight to my head and made me very sick.

What did it teach me? A few things actually. Firstly, don’t turn to drink when I am feeling like that, read or go for a walk or go to see family. Secondly, I need to take more time in the evenings to refresh myself and take care of my mental state. Mental health is very important and a very real issue. Lastly, do more of what makes me happy because that helps. Oh and I put myself of prosecco for the rest of my life, which is good for my health!

On a serious note, just stay away from alcohol when your feeling miserable because where I was, wasn’t a good place to be in.

• Before I got my new job, I was home alone a lot during the week days and this time on my own wasn’t good for me. I can be very needy person and don’t like being alone. Depression just eats at you when your alone or it did me, during this time.

What did it teach me? Don’t let those feelings hold you down, just do something, you know it will make you feel better. Get away from the negative thoughts, do something you enjoy. It doesn’t mean you have to go outside, you have TV, music, lots of books and crafty stuff to occupy you, to keep the dark feelings away.

Exercise 2 – Describe 10 interesting facts about you

1. I have naturally curly hair, which I love! My hair is a big part of whole I am and makes me, me.
2. I have eight tattoos. My Gran hates tattoos but it doesn’t stop me, there away of keeping the things I love close, keeping the memories close or the tattoo symbolises something to me.
3. I am quite a short person and my body is a little bit of a caricature. Anything that I eat that isn’t particularly healthy goes straight to my hips and legs.
4. I have a huge collection of books at my mums, over 200 at least and I’ve read pretty much all of them. When growing up, reading was a huge help for me, it let me escape away from the issues my parents were having.
5. I love animals, I turn in to a gooey mess when I walk past a dog or see some horses on my way to work in the morning.
6. I moved to Plymouth for six months with my boyfriend. It was there that I started to get crafty.
7. I don’t think I have a favourite time of year, I appreciate each for their differences and the changes they bring.
8. I wish I was a fairy or some Disney character. I mean, who doesn’t?
9. I have ambitions to write my own novel.
10. Most of the time I would rather sit in silence than have music on, I love peace and quiet. (I am secretly a granny within a 23 year olds body)

Exercise 3 -What balls are you juggling? (on the page it’s actually a drawing of two hands with four circles to write in)

1. Ball number 1: My new job. I graduated two years ago with a 2:1 in Graphic Design and it’s taken me that long to get a job. I really want to do well and gain some confidence in myself while I am there.
2. Ball number 2: Money. I hate money there never seems to be enough of the stuff. I have rent to pay, bills, car insurance, fuel money, maintain a social life, a gym membership. Then there are people that get everything handed to them, which is really sad, upsetting and unfair (LIFE ISN’T FAIR, I KNOW). At the same time once I have achieved my goals I’ll know I’ve done it all by myself and worked hard to get where I wanted to be.
3. Ball number 3: Spending time with family and friends. There never seems to be enough time to see people and do things for yourself as well. Balance is a tricky thing.
4. Ball number 4: House jobs. When I wake up in the morning, I don’t just have to get myself ready, I have to make sure my cat has food and water, take the rubbish out and at least try to keep on top of the house work.

The list could go on and on. Being an adult is all about juggling, can I go back to being a little person please?

Rammy rocks

I live near a place called Ramsbottom and the community decorate/paint rocks/pebbles, my friend and I have been getting involved! It’s so much fun!

Here is some of the designs I have done so far…

…A bee because I am from Manchester…

… An Owl that looks like Hedwig because I am a Harry Potter fan!

This one is going to be Arlo from the Disney film ‘The Good Dinosaur’. A film I love, it’s such a cute story of how the weakest person in the family goes on a journey and grows in to this strong person. I thought this would be nice for the kids to find, if they have seen this film.

Two that we found near where we live…

A style that I want to try, inspiration!

Found rocks…and rehidden further down the trail, they were still wet! I was not happy getting green paint on my hands and clothes.

Barbados map because my friend is from Barbados, this rock has been found but nobody posted it on facebook.

Just a bit of fun to get you being creative and outside.

Manchester travels

I few weeks ago my boyfriend’s mum and I went for a mooch around Manchester, first day out since moving back up north!

We got henna tattoos and I took pictures of graffiti!

There is alot more than this to see, in Stevenson square in the northern quarter but we didn’t walk up that way.

Geometric Elephant

Yesterday while waiting for 4:30pm to turn up I had some fun with Adobe Illustrator and an elephant. Elephants are one of my favourite animals and I am always looking for ways in which I can bring them over in to my design work.

Add this to some geometric shapes and you have a very distinct style…

I think this took me about an hour and a half to complete the general layout, then I selected a colour palette. I love colour so this was a very important task to complete, colour can make or break a design for me.

After I completed this I rolled the design out on to other templates…

Once I had completed the elephant I duplicated it and tried to make a pattern. Then I though this could make some lovely wrapping paper hence the image above. Personally I am not sure it works well with everything else but this was just for fun.

Hope you like my Geometric Elephant! If you would like to see more of this kind of stuff, hit the like button or leave a comment. All feedback is welcome.

New Apartment!

What a journey it has been moving! Last Thursday my partner and I weren’t even sure we would be moving on the Friday due to Enterprise and their silly details. Anyway we hired a van elsewhere and now we are back up north.

Today it’s very windy and snowy, first we had the beast from the east. Now storm Emma, where they come up with the names for these things, I’d love to know. Who is the person that gives these different weather conditions names. He must be a funny guy.

That photograph does not capture how bad the weather has been, I just hope it goes away soon because I have had to cancel lots of plans this week.

My kitty cat; Princess Maisie (flops) now lives with us! I think she is settling in well and she is a lot more sociable here with us. Which is something I wasn’t expecting.

As for my lack of book reviews I have been busy and to be honest haven’t been in the mood for reading recently. I will get back to it soon.

This is what we left behind, taken on one of our last days in Plymouth. I know we need our heads testing, why would anyone leave that view for up north? The short answer would be family and friends.

Hope you like my photographs and I will try to be a better blogger within the next couple of weeks.

DECHOX!

I was on Facebook the other day and I came across British Heart Foundations March DECHOX! It says it on the box, no chocolate for a whole month to raise money and awareness for the charity.

Last year 16,000 people took on the challenge of no chocolate for a month. Now as a person who loves chocolate and usually has it daily, this is quite a shock to the system. Also the reason I keep repeating no chocolate for a whole month is because I am wondering if I can take on this challenge.

I love the advertising for this campaign too!

Could I actually do this though? It’s for a good cause but I am not sure I would have the will power, chocolate is my biggest weakness. No sweet things are my weakness but chocolate. I think I would definitely become a very grumpy person for the first two maybe three weeks and by the end of it I would be fine.

It’s the grumpiness that puts me of because I know how grumpy I am in the morning and with the added no chocolate. Grumpy, angry wild bear is the image that comes to mind…

However they don’t leave you on your own; on the charities website they have tips on how to survive the month without your chocolate fix. I’m not much of a drinker, so dry January wasn’t difficult for me.

Combating your chocolate cravings (this section is copied from their website, with my added comments below them. I am no health critic, so don’t take my comments seriously or follow them because they might be incorrent)

Here are our top six ways to help banish those chocolate blues:

1. Drink a glass of water, this helps to fill you up and take your mind off those cravings.

‘Drinking water is good for you, for your skin, for hydration and just being healthy in general but water as a substitute to chocolate, erm no.’

2. Go for a walk, even if it’s just to the printer and back! By thinking about something else you will soon forget about those pesky cravings.

‘Would this actually work? When I think about food I have a one track mind.’

3. Chew sugar-free gum – a low calorie, inexpensive snack. It will help keep your gums and teeth healthy and freshens your breath too.

‘Fresh breath is always great, I work in an Italian restaurant and I am always conscious of this when I’ve come off my break. Would fruit not be a better substitute?’

4. Try something bitter, hot or sour to overwhelm the sweetness craving; we find a glass of lemon water works every time.

‘Never thought or heard of doing this, maybe this would help while on a diet.’

5. Keep fruit handy for when those chocolate cravings hit. Swapping out the chocolate for some fruit will mean that you get fibre and nutrients as well as your sweet fix.

‘The DECHOX is a great opportunity to start a health kick I think, to stop cravings you will be eating health options. For a month this would get you in the right frame of mind to start a healthier life. Would you just revert back to how things were when April arrives? Now this would be the true test of your will power.’

6. Eat regularly, long gaps between meals may mean you end up snacking on sugary/chocolately foods.

‘Very true, having healthy snacks around stops you from eating what you shouldn’t be and your less likely to cave in.’

Shall I do the DECHOX in March? Just to see if I can manage for a whole month, raise some money for a charity and hopefully learn to choose the healthy option.

Record & CD Fair

A friend at work asked me a few weeks ago to create a poster for a Record and CD Fair that her husband is doing. I tried lots of different ideas but nothing was working at the start because I didn’t really know what he wanted. I made a mood board of record posters as a point of reference and sent them over, to see which they liked and worked from there.

I have worked all day on this, I just hope they like it. This is where I started this morning:

Few problems I had were with the fonts that I downloaded; some of them don’t have numbers or punctuation marks to go with the set so they go to a default font that just looks rubbish. I had to juggle a few things around.

This is the finished poster, I am very happy with it but like I said before; the opinion that matters most is the clients. Also the colours look slightly different to this in the original document, the internet and screen does things to your colours.

To accompany the poster is a new image for the events page, this is the current one…

And here is my new one….

To finish the whole thing off I found a free mock up on here, at GraphicBurger, which is a brilliant place because it has lots of mock ups and their just what you need to help you visualise what your designs will look like in real life.

Also I completed this in Adobe Illustrator, which is another achievement for me.

Hope you like my poster design guys!

A little writing….

I think it was last year when I wrote this passage, I had been reading a book or maybe it was a YouTube video on how to start practicing your writing skills for a novel.

Make lists of your surroundings or try to describe a place in as much detail as you can. I tried this exercise out while I was at a hospital with my gran and my mum.

I was wondering if any of my readers could give me some feedback as to what you think of this piece and if I described it in a while that you could picture yourself in the setting.

They arrived at Hartshead medical centre at six o’clock on the dot, just in time for the old ladies appointment at half six. The car rolled to a stop in a parking bay and two women climbed out of the drivers side door and hurried over to the parking machine to sort out parking fees. The wind was strong and cold as the older lady climbed out of the passenger door, in her green winter coat and a pair of sandals. 

     The sun was setting in the west, as the three of them walked towards the entrance. There seemed to be some similarity within their features that suggested they might be related. The youngest with the curly hair walked closer to the lady with the dark brown hair, her mother. “If she knew the way here why didn’t she drive herself?!” she whispered. 

     Entering the building there was some confusion as to where they should go. A confectionary shop was to the right of the main door, which Lucy looked towards with hope in her eyes. There was a Costa machine! But it probably didn’t serve her favourite; hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows. A few paces in front them was a waiting area, with clusters of people. 

     Green coat and sandals, set off towards the out patients reception. Not looking back to see if the rest of her family were following.

     The horrible smell of hospitals was in the air, reminding Lucy of the last time she had been in a hospital and made her feel claustrophobic. Hospitals were places that people came to die in, she felt, of course there was other reasons; like having a baby or a check up. But mainly for death she thought, like it was looming around every corner, waiting for the next person to take. 

     Grandma was all checked in and was directed through the doors on the left and told to take a seat in waiting area ‘D’. “They know your here and will call you when there ready for you” the man informed them at the reception.

     Taking a seat in area ‘D’, you could hear the hum of the air conditioning and the TV creating a quiet background noise. The waiting room was a long corridor with different sections, labelled A, B, C, D, E and F. It was light, open and airy. Only one section seemed to be open but due to the late hour, no wonder. 

     On the far wall was a painting, three canvases, creating one image. The middle canvas depicted a tower on a hill, during daylight hours. The canvases either side depicted a same tower but split over two canvases and it was during sunset. Kind of ironic because the family arrived at the same time. Beautiful sunset colours around the towers; reds, oranges, yellows and purple. Looking at it did things to Lucy’s eyes, like it was an optical illusion. But she couldn’t not observe it in great detail. As an artist herself she could tell it was done by a young person and in acrylic paints, which she loved. 

     The only good thing about hospitals is that they never seem to be cold she thought but she was still sat there in her coat. Her mother was sat beside her, being silly. Bouncing her feet of the floor, “this is what them kids do at work” by way of explanation as she saw the looks Lucy was giving her. “Mum your silly, behaving like a child” but she was amused by her mum as she always was when she was being silly. Grandma sat there sucking lemons like she always did, like she couldn’t bear to be sat there with Julie being daft, even though it was just a bit of fun. 

     In waiting area ‘C’ you could hear the hushed tones of peoples conversations as people did when they were in quiet places.

     Sat across from them there was a man, he seemed strange and a little odd. Lucy could feel his eyes on them, but at the same time she thought; Is this just me being paranoid? He was wearing dark clothes, sat alone and in a way looked like he needed the toilet. 

     The glass ceiling above showed the sky, not that there was much to see in the clouds of British weather. It was getting darker outside, the seasons are changing so it’s getting darker earlier and colder. 

     “No bloody peace all day! It’s all about you! You can’t ring me while I am at work” a shrilled voice travelled down the corridor as a women pushing a wheelchair entered the waiting area with another old lady at her side. The lady pushing the wheel chair seemed angry for some reason at the women in the turquoise fleece. The group came in to waiting area ‘D’ and sat across from Lucy and her family. 

That’s as far as I got with typing up my notes. What do you think?